We all have heard the phrase "it takes a village" when it comes to raising kids. And while we would all agree that it's true we cannot do it alone, it's also important to acknowledge that many women don't have a traditional village to call upon.
I live across the country from my family. If I hopped in my car to drive "home", it would take me 18 hours to do so. Because of that, I have not had my family around to call on when I've needed support. It has not been easy having to become more self-sufficient than I was envisioning motherhood would be.
What I have learned through my own struggles of aloneness in motherhood is that family does not just mean shared DNA. Many of the people who have been instrumental in my girls' lives (and mine) over these past 6 years of my motherhood journey have been our chosen family. Friends who show up for us when family can’t. Neighbors who are always there to fall back on when needed. Other moms who check in when they know I'm had a hard week. People who know how hard parenting is, and are intentional to lend a hand when they can.
Not everyone has a stable, reliable or accessible family in their village. If that is you, then know that you are not alone. Motherhood is one of the most trying journeys and it can also be one of the most isolating and lonely without family to fall back on. If that's you, then let me tell you - it is that much MORE important to build up your own chosen family. A village is there, it just requires some work to find it. I have so much gratitude for my village now because of how hard I fought to build it. It wasn't handed to me, and I wasn't born into it. And because of that, it's all the more precious.
It's time to reassess what the "village" in motherhood is, because it can go far beyond the mold of the traditional family model. Many women are navigating motherhood without a large support system. Be kind to mothers. You don't know how many of them are feeling burnt out, alone, and are struggling to juggle it all. Be kind, and offer to help when you can. You can become someone's village when they need it most.
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